I did make it over to Brooklyn Artists Gym this afternoon and ended up doing a self portrait.  Here’s a picture Peter Wallace, owner and manager of BAG took of me with my SideKick 3 camera.

I feel this painting, self portrait, is one of my best.

 

The photo I took is decent - but many of the subtleties are not showing up in the digital picture - the work is much richer when looking at it - and some for the lighting I captured on my face looks more arbitrary in the photo than in real life.   The painting looks better, I feel, standing in front of it - than seeing it online, like I have it, above. 

I think I spent close to 5 hours working on my self portrait.  Once I started painting again last year - I let myself go - when I paint - it’s 100% of me and I often feel as if something else is working through me and I’m just along for the ride - and that’s totally fine with me.

Also feel that I can complete my work now where I could not years and years ago - I had no idea what “finished” meant - I did not know when to stop.  Feel much more  confident of my abilities as an artist.

It’s also nice when artists at my studio come up to me and tell me the painting is beautiful - it’s unsolicited feedback.  Without taking it too seriously - if I “see it”, “feel it” and “know it” and other people (who have no idea of how aware I am of the “energy”) come over to me and tell me they’re drawn to the work…..I must be onto something.

But I’m totally glad I’m not out to sell or even show my work at this time.  It takes a alot of courage to put your work out for the world to see - in a gallery show - my soul is exposed.  I’m not ready for it yet.  Maybe I’ll never be ready - I’m fine going on, just as I have -and I’ll see where the road takes me.

BTW, here’s what my Self Portrait looks like at a distance:

I believe a painting should look good at a distance but also close up - but the power of painting is different at a distance - I hope if this work is ever shown, it’s also seen at a distance, like I’m showing above.   Getting close up, another set of associations takes over as you can see the textures and the forms are clearer.

Well, that’s enough for one post and after 5 hours, I packed it up and left the studio, a little after 7PM, Saturday.