I’m still in Paris attending LeWeb3; leaving tomorrow to go back to NYC – but I thought I’d post a movie I made at Maxim’s last Sunday. 

Also I spent much of Monday at the Louvre and will spend a couple of hours tonight at the Louvre.

Came across the New York Times article tonight on Simulations of Ailing Artists’ Eyes Yield New Insights on Style which showed what I’ve often suspected, that artists such as Monet, in his later years, were greatly hampered by physical limitation (he could not see very well) and the problems he had reflect in the colors he chose for his later paintings.

“…What has long been known about Monet’s later years is that he suffered from cataracts and that his eyesight worsened so much that he painted from memory. He acknowledged to an interviewer that he was “trusting solely to the labels on the tubes of paint and to the force of habit.”

Now, thanks to modern digital techniques, scientists and critics can have a better idea how cataracts changed what Monet saw. This year, an ophthalmologist at Stanford, Michael F. Marmor, described in The Archives of Ophthalmology creating computer simulations of Monet’s world as his lenses yellowed, blurring vision and turning patterns of color and light into muddy, unfocused, yellow-green inkblots.”

However, in Art and ageing – an observation, from Art & Perception blog:

“..

Degas suffered macular degeneration, Renoir had rheumatoid arthritis, Mary Cassatt had cataracts and seizures attended to van Gogh. In almost all of these cases, the infirmities that attacked these famous artists happened after their places were assured in history as great artists. 

This has led me to speculate that once an artist gains recognition, it does not really matter what that artist develops, we just look for and want confirmation of the fact that it was indeed painted by the person – be it illegible scrawls, colors incoherently massing into one other to form a dirty mess or just plain lack of attention to details (details that were earlier captured to meticulous effect) – it does not matter. We overlook incompetence (brought on by the onset of disease, drug overdose or otherwise) and reward the artist for what s(he) were once famous for…”

Tired, time for bed; have yet another post to do but it’ll have to wait till Thursday evening.

Went over to my studio, again, this weekend and worked on another study - this one is called Catharsis 2.

There was also a critique at the studio but I wasn’t able to stay for most of it – had a good time and spent about 2 hours on this study.

Been drawing with a pen on paper (4 22 x 28″ sheets that are assembled together) which suit me well – I’ve been letting myself go and finding form and depth from within the elements of the painting.

Not really sure if this is done or not – maybe its’ not, maybe it’s a study, a loosening up – whatever, I’m enjoying being freer.

Really have been feeling knocked out of whack with the series of reviews of my work I’ve had over the last several weeks – been very busy too…and I’ll be in Paris late next week.   I painted for a couple of hours today – fairly large – also went to an art opening on the Politics of Power art at the Brooklyn Artists Gym, where I also paint.

Politics Of Power Opening Reception December 1st, 6-9pm

Power is the marked ability to accomplish and to possess or exercise authority or influence. The politics of power is the mechanics of this action.The artwork in the show Politics of Power at BAG Gallery is a collection of thought provoking work that focuses on power. While some artwork make strong statements, others question. Can an artist at the crossroads of art, politics and truth help decipher the mechanics of power? Or does the mixture of politics and art manifest political correctness and censorship? Where is the room for risk?

And here’s the painting I did – again, I’ve been feeling discouraged but have decided to carry on – and paint, even though I don’t know where it’s all going:

Trying to sort out what to do next – was thinking of my Paris Trip next week and changing the hotel (My Room in Paris – is going to be clean or full of bed bugs?) along with making sure I have enough money to cover my expenses and my family back home – and it’s really tough.   I think going to Paris is the right thing to do but I’m tired of struggling so much.

It’s a struggle at work, struggling to be seen as much more than the Web Analyst they think I am; I’m growing into a new role, but my current position doesn’t allow the autonomy and control that makes best use of what God gave me.  Yet it’s not clear what the next thing is, either, and I can’t move on till I know what it is.

At home, my life is less than ideal, but I won’t talk about that here.   And in my work with the Web Analytics Association, we’re making great strides – building a Social Network, building community, I’ve been asked to speak and travel more -  I sit on a Board of Directors that, largely is made up of self made millionaires, while I can barely pay my rent – every month is struggle, and I can’t tell you the last time I really bought many clothes, or for that matter, my wife or son did.

When I was in Washington DC in October for the Emetrics Summit, I had to ask the Board of Directors to advance me the money to take the members of my Social Media Committee who were present, to dinner – I didn’t have the money to lay it out (715 dollars) – and I had to have my brother help me with the hotel, most of which was reimbursed, but still … my existence is so precarious – sometimes I wonder how I’ve made it this far and how can I possibly continue, and keep this up.  I just don’t know.  I don’t know what comes next.

There’s also been some personal issues that I’ve had to sort out lately, a theme that started over two years ago that came back to bite me lately – but I’ve dealt with it.

And yet, it seems I’m making great strides – depending on how you measure it. 

So when worked on this painting, above, it was with a sense of really not knowing what to do next; but I have been seeing, in my minds eye, that I needed to work larger and freer, and if I did not buy larger canvasses, I needed to pin up multiple pages on the wall to make a larger space for myself to paint on – and be expressive on.

One good thing that’s come out of having my ego deflated is seeing the good in others’ paintings.  My own humbling, of late, as opened my eyes to the beauty of my fellow painters, and of others Art, in general.

If, feeling special, fed my Art, I’ve been seeing my sense of self being transformed – but where is it all going?   I don’t know.

But I know I’m ready to move on to something bigger in 2008.