I meant to write this earlier this weekend but have been so busy with painting and SEO Work, and life (I suppose) that I really did not have the time or energy - but I think I can write it down now.

Yesterday, when I worked on the painting / oil pastel sketch below - a couple of thoughts were on my mind.

One thought - how much different is what I’d doing now than what I painted 30 years ago?   For one thing, I don’t overwork nearly as much, work a lot faster and more focused - but for all that - I feel limited - that I haven’t really challenged myself enough - to go past the edges of what I know how to do visually.

And yet, the painting / sketch above seemed to have caught something I noticed several years ago about my Homage to Manet painting (see below)

There’s a “twist”, slanting that somehow works for me.  Yesterday, the same thing sorta happened, a slanting of the post is the left part of the picture that somehow made it more interesting.   In both cases i did not plan it - but I’m aware of it now.

That reminds me - Brice Marden mentioned in his talk today that he spends the majority of his time thinking about his work and deciding about it vs. actually producing it (he might have said it a little differently - but I think that’s what he meant).  When he was younger - he worked more than he does now - and he thinks about it more  - maybe, then he did earlier in his life.

Now, getting back to my paintings - when I detect things that work - even though there’s a lot I need to work on…..that still don’t work for me ….. I can use that information again - I can be more aware of choices I have before me.

I spent so much time looking at great art this week that I felt the need to put something back into my own work.  I absorbed more Friday night - with 3.5 hours of solid viewing of 4 major shows at the Metropolitan Museum - and many thoughts came to me - some I have yet to write down.

This is a long post …. I put a lot in it ….. hope you read it all the way though.

This afternoon we had a Black Model, fairly athletic, and I just sat down and painted him - no real pre-sketch - and 3 hours later - here’s what I ended up with (see below).

 

This is actually 18 x 24 - and I think it actually looks better when you click on it (to expand) but looks better still in real life.  I found it very hard to resolve parts of the models’ torso and I’m not really satisfied with the face.  Did the best I could - tried to make a picture that’s alive.

I’m aware that I have a lot of things in my paintings / sketches - guess that’s a reflection of my life - have a lot of things going on - a lot in my life.  As I viewed the American Painters in Paris show last nite at the MET, noticed John Singer Sargent had simplified all his compositions - they’re simple and abstract almost - easy to look at - easy to take in.  Made a note of that …..but I’m just the reverse - my work is not “easy” and there’s a lot going in inside of me and around me ….. my work should reflect that …. because that’s who I am right now.

Someone wrote me today about one of my studio views I did recently - they told me it’s good but I should think about getting rid of the scribbles and lines…. I wrote back that I think the lines and scribbles are part of me - and if this is a problem …how about Van Gogh’s studio drawings ….aren’t they full of scribbles too?   Anyway - I did not get a reply to that…that’s’ fine - who needs a reply ….I’m not going to change a thing about my work unless I want to.

And then I did another sketch / painting - spending another 2 or 3 hours on it.

I think of this painting - which I had a hard time with - as “The Red Cup“.  Had a real hard time - did not think I would - there are parts that are not resolved…and you know what … my life is that way …. so, maybe the Red Cup is a symbol of my life. 

In that case, I thought about how I might resolve the background, and in so doing, - resolve something in my life that’s blocked. 

One problem …. the background was too much the same as the foreground ….. in the painting (and maybe, there were too many things that were “the same” in my life ….. so maybe an adjustment is needed).  

Adjusted by popping out the space around the cup and trying to make the foreground more distinct.  Don’t know if it worked for sure.

Here’s something I want to share,  It’s something that may be unique to me, or it may not be. 

If it’s something that happens to artists and they just don’t talk about it, fine…then I’m just like everyone else. 

If not…than it’s something unique to me. 

Here it is - and I’ve never written about this - but I want to now.

When I paint - I feel the colors speak to me …. I see flashes of energy - sorta like beacons …. hints of where to put the next colors …what they should be.  I’ve learned to tune in and “listen” for the energy to communicate with me.

In the past, I would take a passive role - just waiting to see what would “pop up” …… today I decide what I want to let in and also work with things I want to be there - flashes of light or not - it’s a balance and what’s right for me.

However, I believe what I’m actually painting is ….  energy patterns - and the purpose of my art work is to free up energy …. just as ”freeing up energy” is the purpose of my life ……I’ve done that with the projects I work on (IE: at IBM, at any SEO project I’ve worked on, for any client).  Every client is really just a energy pattern …. and I see my self as a catalyst - working with the energy to free it up - transform it into something else.  That’s what I did with the Homepage of IBM - I made it into a Lead Generation Engine (which it always was…..really) rather than a weekly magazine…..and my paintings are really just that … energy patterns I’m working out. 

My managers have “figured” out I’m best at “solving problems” and I most want to have “continuous challenges” - where I have to come up with a solution.  The best use of my energy, in painting and in life - is to confront the most difficult problems. ..the more difficult … the more I like it.  

I’m really not good at “standardized reporting” and I’m not really that good at the “technique” part of painting …. I get restless and want to “jump ahead”.

As I work out blocked energy as Art, it works out in  Life …. and vice versa.  It’s not so weird…. think about it.  If you go to therapist and talk about your problems, and start working out feelings…don’t things usually get defined?  Don’t things eventually improve?  Well, we hope they do.   Same thing with Art…when you work it out on Canvas (or whatever your art form) ….. it’s also being freed up in your life.  You can face things in painting..which then brings you to face them in life….or you can face them in life ….and they will then come up in the paintings.

As far as the “mystery” …. well, I hope it’s there.  As much as you can explain -there’s always a part that can’t be explained …and should not be.

But suppose there really is an energy plane that communicates with us, just as the colors speak to me … will is speak to anyone?   Yes.

I believe the energy that speaks to me….would speak to anyone …. it’s energy - it wants to connect ….by meeting it half way…with an open mind and heart.